The Rock
Remember Charlie Brown at Halloween, how he always got a rock when he went trick-or-treating?
Hallo. I'm the female version.
You be da judge (I've taken the liberty of listing a few of the many, many "rock" moments in my life).
It seems that the lady with the big tall hair always chooses to sit in front of me @ the movie theater. And, it ain't a simple process when she does. First, she stands in the row deciding which seat she is going to sit on while I am fervently praying under my breath, "Puhlease don't choose that seat!" Well, needless to say, you know which seat her ass chooses.
One time, my sister, my step-mom and I went shopping and this radio station happened be at the mall doing a promo. They had this jar where pieces of folded papers were kept. So folks would reach in the jar and take one and whatever item was written on the paper, that person would receive it. Well, my sister received a cassette tape while my step-mom received a tee-shirt. When it was my turn, I reached in, got my piece of paper and unfolded it. "Nothing," it read. Surely, this wasn't right, so I showed it to the guy at the table. "Yeah, he said, "That means you get nothing." Now what kind of promotion is that, I ask you??
Taa-daa! I can stand in line at any vending machine and when it's my turn to put my money in for a snack, the machine goes on strike stealing my money and refusing to give me a damned snack! Or, my treat gets hung up on those funny stupid loop things.
Drove about two hours to an amusement park only to discover that it was closed (don't ask). Of course, my family will never let me live this one down; they call it the WallyWorld Experience (remember National Lampoon's Family Vacation?).
I have been known to have Charlie Brown Christmas trees (yanno, they don't look that way at the lot; how come they change when I get 'em in my apartment?).
Hey, I'm the person that ends up at the end of the line of the human whip when we all go ice skating. Oh yeah, whip me into the plexi glass - I can take it....Koo, koo, koo. . .
Once during a kick ball game, I had my sister, brother and my cousins chase after me when I took off with the ball. I ran like hell laughing my head off while they ran after me in hot pursuit. I just barely made it into the house where I immediately locked them out and proceeded to laugh and gloat at them through the glass door - I even made faces at them. I was pouring it on thick believing I had the last laugh. I lifted my knee to slap it with glee and instead ended up shoving it through the glass door with glee. Priceless, you say? Priceless, my ass - I ended up with stitches.
Look, if there is dog poo, I'll be there - steppin' right in it and if there is a tree on the bike path, I'll ride right into it
And, to answer the burning question of the moment:
NO, I do not have supplemental insurance.
Remember Charlie Brown at Halloween, how he always got a rock when he went trick-or-treating?
Hallo. I'm the female version.
You be da judge (I've taken the liberty of listing a few of the many, many "rock" moments in my life).
It seems that the lady with the big tall hair always chooses to sit in front of me @ the movie theater. And, it ain't a simple process when she does. First, she stands in the row deciding which seat she is going to sit on while I am fervently praying under my breath, "Puhlease don't choose that seat!" Well, needless to say, you know which seat her ass chooses.
One time, my sister, my step-mom and I went shopping and this radio station happened be at the mall doing a promo. They had this jar where pieces of folded papers were kept. So folks would reach in the jar and take one and whatever item was written on the paper, that person would receive it. Well, my sister received a cassette tape while my step-mom received a tee-shirt. When it was my turn, I reached in, got my piece of paper and unfolded it. "Nothing," it read. Surely, this wasn't right, so I showed it to the guy at the table. "Yeah, he said, "That means you get nothing." Now what kind of promotion is that, I ask you??
Taa-daa! I can stand in line at any vending machine and when it's my turn to put my money in for a snack, the machine goes on strike stealing my money and refusing to give me a damned snack! Or, my treat gets hung up on those funny stupid loop things.
Drove about two hours to an amusement park only to discover that it was closed (don't ask). Of course, my family will never let me live this one down; they call it the WallyWorld Experience (remember National Lampoon's Family Vacation?).
I have been known to have Charlie Brown Christmas trees (yanno, they don't look that way at the lot; how come they change when I get 'em in my apartment?).
Hey, I'm the person that ends up at the end of the line of the human whip when we all go ice skating. Oh yeah, whip me into the plexi glass - I can take it....Koo, koo, koo. . .
Once during a kick ball game, I had my sister, brother and my cousins chase after me when I took off with the ball. I ran like hell laughing my head off while they ran after me in hot pursuit. I just barely made it into the house where I immediately locked them out and proceeded to laugh and gloat at them through the glass door - I even made faces at them. I was pouring it on thick believing I had the last laugh. I lifted my knee to slap it with glee and instead ended up shoving it through the glass door with glee. Priceless, you say? Priceless, my ass - I ended up with stitches.
Look, if there is dog poo, I'll be there - steppin' right in it and if there is a tree on the bike path, I'll ride right into it
And, to answer the burning question of the moment:
NO, I do not have supplemental insurance.
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