Today looks like it's going to be a beautiful day; the sun is out and it's not too hot or too cold. And there is a slight wind.
A lot has been going on lately. I qualified to buy a house, which is pretty exciting albeit a little scary. My cousin has been going with me to look at a few. Hopefully I will be in a house soon. I have been living in my apartment now for almost 10 years. I think that's a bit much, but I had told myself that I was never going to move out of this apartment unless I found a house.
I was summoned for Jury Duty at the end of this month so I have that to look forward to (I'm sure you can imagine just how thrilled I am).
G and I were in contact for awhile playing the online LOTR game together. It was nice because we were able to talk over the microphone that the game offers its players. For me it was bittersweet because although it was great to be with him in the game, I was actually in limbo wanting to be back with him, but knowing it wasn't the best thing just as I knew it wasn't the best thing for me to be in contact with him. And sure enough it didn't too long for me to realize that it was way too soon for us to be friends. G has a lot of anger and resentment toward me and the relationship while I was carrying false hopes and dreams about him and the relationship. As you can imagine this does not bode well for emotional health/healing. So I made the difficult decision to quit the game. I told him we couldn't be friends - not now, that I need to move on and start healing properly and quit draggin' stuff out.
My life has been off-kilter for quite some time now - even before G and I were together - the relationship ended up just becoming another liability adding to the stress/disarray that my life was in. Some believe that all things happen for a reason. For me, the break-up, while painful, is a good thing because it has motivated me to step back and look at the other parts of my life, which I have been neglecting for so long - especially during the time that I was with G. I put all my energies toward him and the relationship. It consumed me. I have come to realize that the relationship/break-up is just one part of my life - I have other parts that I need to give my attention to. Like my job. It has been a source of stress for me for quite some time now and I really need to have a deep heartfelt look at how I am going to go about alleviating this stress instead of just whining about it.
I need to also do a deep spirtual refresh because that has been hanging over me for a long time. I have had a lot going through my head for a few years now and I need to start focusing more on evaluating my values, qualities and all the other stuff that goes with spirtual growth.
I have put off so much stuff that it all finally came crashing down.
A lot has been going on lately. I qualified to buy a house, which is pretty exciting albeit a little scary. My cousin has been going with me to look at a few. Hopefully I will be in a house soon. I have been living in my apartment now for almost 10 years. I think that's a bit much, but I had told myself that I was never going to move out of this apartment unless I found a house.
I was summoned for Jury Duty at the end of this month so I have that to look forward to (I'm sure you can imagine just how thrilled I am).
G and I were in contact for awhile playing the online LOTR game together. It was nice because we were able to talk over the microphone that the game offers its players. For me it was bittersweet because although it was great to be with him in the game, I was actually in limbo wanting to be back with him, but knowing it wasn't the best thing just as I knew it wasn't the best thing for me to be in contact with him. And sure enough it didn't too long for me to realize that it was way too soon for us to be friends. G has a lot of anger and resentment toward me and the relationship while I was carrying false hopes and dreams about him and the relationship. As you can imagine this does not bode well for emotional health/healing. So I made the difficult decision to quit the game. I told him we couldn't be friends - not now, that I need to move on and start healing properly and quit draggin' stuff out.
My life has been off-kilter for quite some time now - even before G and I were together - the relationship ended up just becoming another liability adding to the stress/disarray that my life was in. Some believe that all things happen for a reason. For me, the break-up, while painful, is a good thing because it has motivated me to step back and look at the other parts of my life, which I have been neglecting for so long - especially during the time that I was with G. I put all my energies toward him and the relationship. It consumed me. I have come to realize that the relationship/break-up is just one part of my life - I have other parts that I need to give my attention to. Like my job. It has been a source of stress for me for quite some time now and I really need to have a deep heartfelt look at how I am going to go about alleviating this stress instead of just whining about it.
I need to also do a deep spirtual refresh because that has been hanging over me for a long time. I have had a lot going through my head for a few years now and I need to start focusing more on evaluating my values, qualities and all the other stuff that goes with spirtual growth.
I have put off so much stuff that it all finally came crashing down.
Labels: Random Crap
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