When it Rains, it Pours...

Today I have been sick. I suspect I have the flu because it is going around at work.

Mari came over today which is always nice. We hung out and chatted. She brought over Chinese style spareribs. They were delicious, but I ate very little.

Thank goodness I get to work from home the entire week; between my eye and my upset stomach, I couldn't do anything at work.

I watched a bunch of DVD's that I rented for this weekend. I saw "I am Legend," which was a pretty good movie. I just love Will Smith - he is one of my favortite actors.

It's late and I'm tired since I didn't get much sleep last night due to the weird stuff going on with my stomach. I've been up since 2am. So I need to hit it and get my rest in.

Nite-nite.

Another Day

Today was a day filled with sadness. I went shopping at IKEA and all I could think of was G. I really miss having him around. Then when I got home I realized that this weekend was the first weekend that I have been alone for over a year.

Lord I will be glad when this weekend is over 'cos it's another doozey for me.

Tomorrow I will be going to the gym then to visit Mari and Arron. They invited me over for Easter dinner. In a way I dread going over there because it will be my first visit there without G.

I can tell that Spatz really misses G; he restlessly wonders around meowing. At first he wanted me to hold him a lot. I can tell he is getting better 'tho because he is not wanting me to hold him as much, although he still gets restless looking for G. Noodles seems to be ok, but she isn't as expressive as her brother.

I will be working from home this upcoming week because I got a doctor's note due to the ulcer in my right eye. The lighting at work causes me a great deal of eye strain whereas at home I can control the lighting and take lots of mini breaks.

Well I'm gonna go watch me a chick flick that I rented.

G'bye for now.

Better

Even though I'm sad about the break-up, I am beginning to actually see how better off I am because the relationship was so unhealthy for me - especially the last 4-5 months; I was miserable.

Every day looks brighter filled with a lots of reflection, and of course, moments of sadness. I am somewhat a little surprised that I am not steeped in misery feeling numb while every one of my senses ached horribly.

It's not that I didn't feel like that when G and I broke up because I did. I suffered badly the first 4 days and then when he left, it was a big relief although filled with lots of grief. The first night without having G here, it was really hard being alone after over a year of having him living with me. That was a doozey for sure to get through.

But it isn't so bad any more and it's been just one week since the break-up occurred. Surprisingly the familiarity of living alone has not been difficult for me to become accustomed to - I thought that would take a some time for me, but it hasn't. It's sorta weird for me to be healing so fast, but I ain't knockin' it - it's just different. I know it all means something great; I just have to figure out what it is, but all in good time ;-)

I feel stronger despite the sadness.

And, I can honestly say that although this break-up has caused me much sadness, I am not depressed about it.

I bid you g'nite for now.

Sadness Reigns

Life is going to be sad for awhile. G and i decided to go our separate ways. so for awhile sorrow will be my companion as i try my best to adjust in being single again.

G is still here but will be flying out next tuesday. it is almost unbearable. it's an amicable split, something that we have to do.

i am very sad and always tearful. i must be going through a trillion different emotions. i know there is an end in sight. i know there is a right way to go about this and a wrong way. i am learning not to think too much on those things that are a waste of what little energy i have.

i already miss G deeply

a tear...k